I have a pet peeve that I’m finding to be occurring more and more often lately. OK…actually there are two of them. There must be a better screening tool to avoid these issues in the future.
Relationships are hard..and not the good kind of hard either. Those that are serious tend to be on their extra best behavior in order to try to win the affection of the one that they find the most interesting. Sometimes, they trade some of that best behavior for what they think are little white lies…you know…something that they think is unimportant and easily forgiven once she meets him and decides he is just perfect for her. Guess what boys…it’s a bad idea. A really bad idea. That one small lie…avoidance of the truth…the: “oops, I didn’t know that my profile said that….” It sets the stage for me not believing you at all. (This is different from putting the incorrect town where you reside, as long as it is in the general vicinity. I do it too…it is a safety thing) Here is what happens when I learn that I have been given incorrect information…first, I’m bothered by the mistruth. “Well, it isn’t that bad, we are having fun, connecting, enjoying each others company. It’s ok. I can let this go”. Then, the next day, I sit down and reflect on how things are going and I see things a little differently. What else did he tell me that is only half truth? This is when I start thinking about how you seem to say all the right things…”but wait, did he mean them or did he know that it is what I wanted to hear, therefore probably isn’t the truth?” The funny thing is that these silly little lies probably were not needed in the first place. The truth isn’t even bad…I wouldn’t have cared had I known it from the start. Now there is a cloud of doubt. In this lifestyle, trust is imperative. Don’t get me wrong…teasing, a good mind fuck and joking around are perfectly acceptable and encouraged. It is the mistruth that is meant to mislead and deceive that is never okay. It will backfire EVERY time. It ruins the headspace. It takes away your ability for me to let go and trust you to lead me where I need to go. I no longer know if you really do have my best interests in mind. I feel manipulated when this happens and my protective walls go back up and then get reinforced. Finally, it makes me sad. Just tell the truth boys. It will pay off in the long run.
This brings me to the second pet peeve. Do not tell me that you are a Dominant unless you are a Dominant. Seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it? No…this is a common mental disorder that I have found among men of all ages lately. So many swear that they are Dominants but “wait… what does that mean? I’m new to this”. Guess what sweetie, you are not a Dominant and you will not have a snowballs chance in hell at exhibiting any kind of control over me. You enjoy playing the part of a Dominant in the bedroom…that is role play and rough sex, my friend…that isn’t Dominance. What we have here ladies, is the standard variety horny and kinky man. There is nothing wrong with this breed of man, but he is falsely advertising who he is. Yes, I know…we all have to start someplace…we were all new once. You are absolutely right but I am not a submissive who enjoys teaching a kinky man how to be a Dominant. I will not be your practice target as you learn some new skills and I do not wish to explain to you how to create a mind space for me so you can make me act more submissive for you. If you can’t already do this, and do it well, then we are absolutely not a good match. This breed of man is best off seeking out the breed of woman who refuses to take orders outside of the bedroom but does enjoy kinky sex with the horny kinky man. I wish them all the happiness in the world. Please stop messaging me…I am not that breed of woman and no, I don’t want to join the two of you and teach her how to be more submissive. Good luck with that. The horny kinky man cannot handle me. I promise.
No soup for you…