Daffodil Lament by Delores Mary O’Riordan
August 3, 2019
As I sit here on a peaceful Saturday morning with my cup of coffee, I can’t help but to reflect on my life, experiences that I have had, both good and bad, and decisions that I have made. My journey has taken so many twists and turns. No one has a straight line journey, we all take detours and stray from the path at times. We just need to hope that we find our way back again.
I am fortunate to have found my way back after a detour in the wrong direction. I was lost in the wilderness and fighting my way back, I am fortunate to have found my way with no permanent scars. No experience is wasted and this one has taught me so very much about who I am, who I need in my life and who I need to keep out of my life. One thing I have learned is that standing up for yourself, closing a door and locking it, is far from running away. This is growth and knowing when to walk away from negative and harmful energy. It is also one of the most difficult things I have done and it has been proven to me over and over again that it was also one of the smartest things I have decided to do.
That closed door has now been sealed. I will not ever open it again…because opening it would drag me right back into the poisonous atmosphere where the drama lives. People talking about and using each other, manipulation and lies, and the constant judgement in a lifestyle that likes to brag about their lack of judgement and willingness to accept each other for who they are. If you are a person who can openly say that you do not trust or like someone but only keep them around because they do something for you…we absolutely cannot be friends. I truly question if we ever were…I was being used too. I do not use people for what they can do for me. I spend time with people and choose my friends because I enjoy spending time with them and because I genuinely like them. I fell for the lies and so have so many others…eventually they will see it too. I won’t be there to see it happen nor do I want to be because I have happily moved on and am in a healthy place. I slammed that door shut and bolted it.
I am now at peace and I am happy. The drama is GONE. My rose-colored glasses have been put away and I can see with clarity. It is fascinating to me that removing one person that you thought was a positive and supportive part of your life can prove your fear that he/she is actually the cause of all the problems. Simple proof is when all the issues vanish with them. I can breathe again. I wake in the morning well rested with a smile as I stretch the sleep away. I do not miss any of it…at…all.
Today, I sit with a smile as I enjoy a warm and sunny morning with my coffee. I look forward to the day as I anticipate spending time with my amazing kids and the most amazing, loving and supportive man that is in my life. He has lovingly guided me back on my path which has merged with his. We are now on this journey together and I can see that the path ahead is exciting, positive and full of love. Instead of having constant twists, turns and bumps on my path, we hold hands and follow the gentle curve of the path. As he holds me in his arms, I feel safe, happy and loved. Life is good.
The daffodils truly do look lovely today. 🎶🎶🎶